I remember the first time they were able to wear clothes. They were still in the NICU and they were continuing to become more stable. I kept asking, “when can they wear clothes? I just really want to dress them.” “They have to weigh 1800 grams, not be intubated and be able to keep their temperature up on their own”, said the nurse caring for my babies. So, I not so patiently waited for the triplets to continue to grow and get stronger. I wanted to make sure that was for sure the rule, so I asked another nurse the next day. “When can they wear clothes? I just really want to dress them.” It was like I was asking mom and her saying no so you go ask dad hoping he will say yes. Then you go back to mom and tell her dad said yes. Unfortunately, I was not as lucky as a little kid asking both parents. They said the same thing. They have to weigh 1800 grams, cannot be intubated and have to be able to keep their temperature up on their own. I once again, was not thrilled with this answer. I started to drop hints to as many medical professionals as I could. From nurses, to PA’s to janitors to doctors to CNA’s. Anyone that walked into room 40 would get some kind of hint. When they would tell me how great they were doing, I was beyond thrilled, but all I could think about was dressing them. The answer remained the same with slight variations. “They will be able to wear them soon.” “They just need to grow a little more.” Oh, how I wanted the answer to be different. I thought, “If they could just wear clothes, I wouldn’t be missing out on that moment of putting them in cute outfits when they are first born. I would have a feeling of normalcy.
The babes continued to grow but not at a pace anyone was overly joyed about. The doctors were starting to get concerned and while they were working with the nurses to get my precious miracles to grow, I was praying for the day they could wear clothes. When I would update my friends and family, I would start off by telling them the things they were craving to hear. They are gaining weight at a slow yet steady pace. Two of them are no longer intubated and there are no signs of infections, etc. The list of good was definitely outweighing the bad at this point. It was a true miracle. However, all I wanted to do was put a cute frilly outfit on the girls and a good lookin’ onesie with a clever saying on my little guy. I would continue the conversation with, “now we just need to get those little miracles in a precious little piece of cotton”.
Time passed and they were still not dressed, but having the good news outweigh the bad continued. “Why am I not happy” I would think to myself. They are telling me about my children’s great progress. We are not quite out of the woods, but we are out of the weeds. That is a HUGE step in the right direction. I would gather my thoughts and carry on about my day. Until later in the day when I would open the cabinet to grab something and the sweet, soft itty-bitty outfits would stare me in the eye and remind me we had a long way to go.
Then one day, after an amount of time had passed (what I thought felt like an eternity), I was able to put them in their first outfit. They had met all of the criteria and we would be able to have a somewhat normal piece of life enter their schedules. I would finally be able to tell people about their day and start out by saying, “I woke up and got the babies dressed for the day”. What a blessing! Pop that champagne and let us celebrate! I was overjoyed. You don’t realize how much those moments mean unless you can’t have them. It was a true milestone.
Now our lives are a little simpler. My babies have not only outgrown the preemie clothes which they were at one-point swimming in, but they have also surpassed the newborn sleepers and most clothes. Now at 6 months (almost 7 months) old, they are mainly in 0-3 months. The feelings that go along with every stepping stone are so diverse. I am overjoyed they are not only wearing clothes, but are continuing to grow big and strong. Yet at the same time, like all moms say, “enjoy the moments you have with them while they are little because they grow up so fast and you will miss the baby phase.” I know they are only 7 months old (4 months corrected) but I miss the little preemie babies I knew. Every flash of lightning that strikes, or thunder that roars, my littles continue to grow and amaze me.
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